Behind The Wheel - Humor - April 2008


 

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her Dad's word processor.
She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "You know I can't read yet.".

When I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys
had been locked in it. I went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly
to unlock the driver's side door.As I watched from the passenger side,
I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!"
To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side.'

SOME CITY BOYS were on their first camping trip.
As they sat around the campfire, mosquitoes began to bite them.
"Let's go inside the tents," the counselor suggested.
That night, while everybody was sleeping, one of the boys woke up and nudged the counselor.
"What's wrong?" the counselor asked.
The boy pointed to a group of fireflies.
"It's those mosquitoes again, and this time they brought flashlights!"

Little Johnny's at it again....

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Porsche Carrera GT in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along too close to the curb and completely tore off the driver's door.
Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Porsche, his lights flashing. But, before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Porsche, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how hard the body shop tries to make it new again.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief.
"I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said.
"You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing?
It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!"
"OH, MY GOD!" screamed the lawyer, "MY ROLEX!"